Imagine this: I’m in third grade, sitting at the lunch table with my friends. We start talking about what we want to do when we grow up. Without hesitation I say, “I’m going to have to go to college for 10 years after I graduate high school because I’m going to go to seminary to become an ordained Methodist preacher!”
WHAT THIRD GRADER SAYS THIS SHIT?!
Me. Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.
From a young age, I knew that I wanted to be in ministry. As you have read from my previous posts, you know that my story involves a lot of history in the Methodist church. I was raised in a very conservative Christian home and church was what we did.
When I graduated from high school, I looked for schools where I could start my journey as a preacher.
I knew that with my learning style, I would need to find a small school where I could feel comfortable asking questions. It was important to me to have a tight knit community. I toured the religion department and didn’t find a huge connection there. I knew that I wanted to become a minister, but I wanted to be relatable and viewed as a person with open arms.
Unexpected Inner Voice
I ended up choosing a major in Radio/Television/Video at the University of the Ozarks in Clarksville, Arkansas. Although my end game was to become a preacher, I figured that learning everything in the broadcasting world would help me be able to use technology with my congregation. I found a love for photography and video editing! It was calming to be closed in an editing suite, listening to music and editing a package for TV. I felt calm in that space.
As I got to the end of my college career, I started touring graduate schools for seminary. I submitted applications and even got accepted to Saint Paul School of Theology! The feeling in my gut said, “Becca, you don’t want to do this.” So, naturally, I decided to lean on my gifts that I did have and go back home.
A few months later, I ended up securing a job as a Youth Minister in Wichita, Kansas. It was a large Methodist church that had an active youth group. Unfortunately, this church had a reputation for scaring off their youth leaders. I was caught in the crossfire. Parents didn’t like me and kids didn’t relate with me. I was working in the rich part of town, where kids were complaining about not getting a new car for their 16th birthday. I felt out of my orbit. It led me to a deep depression and I felt like it wasn’t possible for me to move forward.
See, at the end of the day, I couldn’t be myself in the church. I had kids that were coming to me with real life questions about sex, drugs, bullies, peer pressure, and more. When I would answer them honestly, the parents would get so upset with me. They would tell me that my responses weren’t encouraging Christian behavior.
Honestly, I don’t know any other way to be. I’m a real life human being that wants to connect with people when they come into my office. If my client wants to talk about their relationship with God, I want to encourage them to use the gift that Jesus gave us through his death and let them CHOOSE how to have a relationship with Him.
Church doesn’t just exist inside four walls. I may not have become a preacher, but I know how to preach the truth.